This Is Quick...

At this moment in time, I'm preparing for an English and a Physics test on Friday, an Irish and a French test tomorrow, doing homework, talking on the phone, organising my vast music collection, and to top it all off, dinner's just ready...plus mum bought a new keyboard with a ridiculously small return key....

Just thought I'd let people know how stressful my life is at the moment.

A Simple Reminder...

Let me tell you a bit about me...

I'm English...Yes I know that because I stated that fact, you're all probably rushing to my home with pitch-forks and petrol bombs...OK, maybe not. The worst I can expect from someone is to receive a nasty comment on this post...or to have my finger tips cut off.

Why did I say this? I've lived in Ireland for the majority of my life (and yet I still consider myself a true Brit) but when we first moved over here, it wasn't easy. We moved into a run down house with nothing. Over the coming years, this would eventually be turned around by the hard work of my Dad. But at first we lived in a caravan...

Yes its hard to imagine that I lived in a tiny space, with a toilet leading directly off of the kitchen, but I did. However, we couldn't get any water and electricity. We were kinda stuck, and me being the tender age of 3, I wanted to watch the Teletubies...Yes its true, I used to watch those giants balls of red, green, blue, and yellow fluff. We were desperate. Luckily, our next door neighbours were kinda enough to let us use their water and electricity. And it was through that act, that I came to know one of my best friends...

Eric is Eric. I was going to say that he's cool, and while that is true to a certain extent, it doesn't some him up enough. He is who he is. Day after day, we would laze around, playing video games, listening to music...and that's pretty much all we did. But understand that I live about 4 miles from Navan, and even further from Dublin. In essence, at times, he became a brother to me.

Before I go on, I want to tell a tiny story about how British I consider(ed) myself to be. Eric was walking me home (I was still 4 or 5 at the time) and a big Gaelic match was going to be played...

Eric: So Philip, who do you want to win? Meath or Dublin?

Philip:...hmm...

Eric: Well?

Philip: LONDON!!!

Yes it is true, I wanted London to win in that game...Let the sneering mocks begin.

He's 21/22 at this stage, so he was just about to finish college. It was no surprise to me, that he said he was going to move. To where, it didn't really matter...Then I heard he was moving over 1000 miles away. Then it matter.

Of course I would stay in contact with him. But it was coming up to summer, a time where I would normally be bored off my ass. The usual way I would relieve that boredom, was to get Eric over. Unfortunately, with the current state of the economy, a cheap flight to and from Germany wasn't in the agenda.

But what was worse was the fact that he didn't know when he'd be coming home. He said it could be 3 months...or it could be a year. At the time, I was happy for him, and so I didn't really feel any sadness. But looking back now, maybe I should've cried a little. After all, I had never shared my faith with him properly. What if something was to happen when he was over there? In essence, I should've felt sad, because if something were to happen, then some of the onus would be on me as to where he would end up. Of course, the onus is still on me partially, because I have been his friend all my life. I think its the least I can do.

3 months passed without him. Luckily enough, my summer was quite packed, so there wasn't much time when I was free, what with Teenstreet and all that. When I came back from Teenstreet, that's when I realised how much Eric means to me. And low and behold, yesterday, he arrived safely back home, greeted by his ever faithful (and also incredibly annoying) dog.

3 months passed before he returned...3 days passed before the world was shown true love.

I'm not trying to compare Eric to Jesus. That's just got blaspheme written all over it. Rather, the period of time in which they both returned was relative to the other.

OK this is an obscure topic, but really I was just thinking of this a little while ago. I can't even begin to imagine to sadness and pain and grief when Christ died on the cross. I must confess that I have never watch "The Passion of The Christ" but now I think that I must see it. From what I've seen, if its even 1/10000000000000000000 of what the actual crucifixion was like, then I will be crying from here to next August.

But that wasn't the end of the story, because while Christ did die, for the sins off all humankind, just as Eric returned, so did Christ. On the 3rd day he rose again, to show the world his true and perfect love. I can't even begin to describe the happiness everyone must have felt the day they saw him.

Writing this now, I'm in a bit of a twilight zone. Its only been 12 hours, but something occurred which has really challenged my faith. The quote that I left at the end of yesterday's post has spoken to the deepest part of me. I know God. I believe that he exists, and that He created everything around me. I believe in Jesus, that He is the Son of God, and that He gave his life for me. And I believe that He loves me, which is the hardest thing for me to accept. The fact that God would love me so much that he would send his own Son to die for me is the most absurd thing I've ever come across. How could God ever love a monster such as me?

And yet I know that fact is true, because I've seen that love work throughout my life. Maybe that's why I posted my Teenstreet report. The fact that God did all that is a sign that He hasn't forgotten me. The fact that because He died for me, means that there must be a greater reason than just living. Who would just up and give their life for us? As I write this, the dilemma is as follows; I've accepted the fact that he loves me, but do I believe it? Or do I believe that I am beyond his touch, and his saving grace? Only time will tell, and having written this, I can already feel something pulling at my very depths. The fact is that quote is true. We can never be clean. In trying to do so, we just become dirtier. But I am talking about being clean for the sake of being clean. Now we can love God because He loves us, and it is through that loving relationship that I believe we can be whole. But we must not want to be whole. We must want to love God, and that's it. Nothing more, nothing less.

Isn't funny, how God reminds us of the simplest, and truest things, in the most random of places. We need to let him be the Nexus in out lives.

I Just Swallowed A Chicken Bone...

Hopefully the title won't need explaining.

So here we are at the end of another week of school. Things are starting to fall into place, but things are quite stressful at the moment, what with all the effort to keep on top of the work. Its true what they say, going from trans year to 5th is a big shock...at least for me it has been.

As I posted earlier on in the week, I'm now a candidate for the Leaving Cert Applied Maths exam. While at the moment, it seems fairly mundane, everything will start to pick up sooner or later.

There really isn't that much going aside from my friend coming home tonight. Yes he almost back! And yes, I do plan on posting my spiritual topic tomorrow...maybe even two...

I'm so glad I read "Wuthering Heights" over the summer. All I have to do is look over some notes, and everything's good!


On a side note, I have started to shave...just that I'd put that out there...


I'll leave you with a quote from "Blue Like Jazz" that I'm currently loving;

"Rick says that I will love God because he first loved me. I will obey God because I love God. But if I cannot accept God's love, I cannot love Him in return, and I cannot obey Him. Self-discipline will never make us feel righteous or clean; accepting God's love will. The ability to accept God's unconditional grace and ferocious love is all the fuel we need to obey Him in return. Accepting God's kindness and free love is something the devil does not want us to do. If we hear, in our inner ear, a voice saying we are failures, we are losers, we will never amount to anything, this is the voice of Satan trying to convince the bride that the groom does not love her. This is not the voice of God. God woos us with kindness, He changes our character with the passion of his love...In exchange for our humility and willingness to accept the charity of God, we are given a kingdom. And a beggar's kingdom is better than a proud man's delusion."

Teenstreet 08: Blindsight

Teenstreet 08: Blindsight

Welcome one and all, to this my account of, what has quite possibly the greatest experience of my life. I know I normally say this about any camp or event that I’ve gone to, but there is no comparison to Teenstreet 08 and any other camp. It has been life-changing, and so much more. So sit back and let’s begin.

It was a long first day. Having arrived at Dublin airport at 3:00, I decided to get a quick bite to eat, before meeting up with City Gates. We checked in, got through security and hung out in the duty free for a little bit. We soon got on our delayed plane, landed and took our 30 minute bus journey to Oldenburg. Having arrived, we were greeted by our country rep, who the directed us to registration, and then to our accommodation, where we set up shop, and headed to sleep.

Before I go any further, it’s important for you to understand who I was going into Blindsight. In the past few months, I had continually been struggling with an addiction to porno, and other related activities. This had taken a huge effect on my faith, but one week before heading to Germany, my uncle took a turn for the worst, and in the end died on the 27th. This was a huge event for me, and my faith then lay on the edge of a knife. It was touch and go. But more than that, things that I wished to accomplish at Teenstreet had me absolutely petrified, and I was beginning to have second thoughts. However, throughout the week, those fears, struggles and much more would become null and void.

Morning came relatively quick, and soon it was time for showers and then the traditional Teenstreet breakfast of cereal and bread. As for those who were there, you know that it’s no fry-up, but for those who weren’t there…let’s just say that it’s not great. Pretty much for the rest of the day, we were free until the main meeting in the evening. So we just hung around until it was time to meet up with some guys who were travelling from Holland. We met up with them, helped them with their bags, and then headed into town to the local supermarket to buy cereals and supplies. We continued to hang around the venue, then it was time for lunch. For the most part, the food was much better than last year.

Things were going great, but then all of a sudden, out of nowhere, the first major event for me occurred. I was taken aside by someone who I had talked to last year, and we chatted for about 30 mins. While this may not seem like a big deal, this was something huge for me. It was then time for the country orientation meeting, where the different countries would get information about the week. We then headed for the main meeting, where we were introduced to theme of Blindsight, and the story of Paul. This really set the foundation for an awesome week of teaching. After some worship (which was amazing!) we continued to hang about until it was time for NET, where I was introduced to my NET group, a group of some of the soundest lads that I’ve met. Then it was time for bed.

One final thing, a lot of this blog is quite personal, which is why you won’t be seeing names at any stage. This is partly for you guys, to see what happened, but this is also an account for me, that I won’t forget what happened that week. On with the show.

Most of the mornings were the same, so I won’t go into great depth unless necessary. Breakfast came, and then was the first meeting, dubbed “Blindsight,” where Josh and Debs talked about faith and how to put your trust in God. After the meeting, it was time for Shhh Time, a time when we could be still before God, and just let him speak. This was one of the highlights of the week for me. After which, it was time for NET 1.0, where we talked about what had been discussed in the meeting. During this time, we did our Big Adventure, a period of study, which was great. Lunch came, and afterwards, we met up and headed into town to chill out. We also went to a seminar on “What It Means to Hear God Speak” which would become a big part of the week.

Supper came, and soon it was time for Throne Room, probably one of the greatest experiences at Teenstreet. While in there, I realised that it had been a week since my uncle had passed away, and I became quite emotional. It wasn’t that I didn’t know that he was in heaven, but that I missed him. Then all of a sudden, while one of the leaders was praying for me, I saw my uncle, standing there with Christ and in that instant, all my sadness melted away. It was amazing, and this was the same day that I heard God say to me “I’m not letting you go.” I was so amazed by what I heard that I wrote a poem, an extract of which will be at the bottom of the blog. We headed for the chill out zone afterwards, to relax, and then went back to our accommodation for NET 2.0 and bed.

Monday started the same, with breakfast and showers. We headed to the main meeting, where we were treated to teaching on “Total Surrender,” giving all that you have to God’s purpose. NET 1.0 came, and we went to do our Big Adventure. It was during this time that something happened that hadn’t happened for a long time; I heard God speak to me. It’s hard to describe, but he uttered single words, such as comfort and worship. At the time, I had no idea what they meant, but little did I know that they would play a big role latter that day. After lunch, we decided to head to the pool which was great fun, apart from being late, and our M&M taking the blame for it.

Soon it was supper, and then it was time for Throne Room. It was during this time, that one of my friends became quite emotional, and so, seeing that they had a few people there to pray, I simply placed my hand on there shoulder, and prayer for them myself. I then realised, that that is what God had meant when he said “comfort.” It was unbelievable. And that was just the beginning, because after heading over to the climbing wall, and heading inside, that same person and I took a walk, and we had a chat about some stuff. Again, no names here. But it was incredible. But what shocked me even more was that something that God had said to me that morning came up while we were talking. I knew that I couldn’t just be coincidence, and so I prayed about it long and hard. NET 2.0 and bed.

Tuesday and Wednesday were not as eventful as the other days. God continued to speak to me during NET 1.0. The meetings were “Humanity” which was the separate meeting for boys and girls, in which we looked at how our humanity gets in the way of out love of God, and “Thankfulness” were we looked at not just focusing on ourselves, but being thankful to God. On one of the days, one of the leaders was celebrating their 21st birthday, and so we all headed into town to hang out and spend the day with them, which was great craic. One of the biggest events of the week took place on Wednesday, which was TS Pray, where everyone gathered in the Throne Room to Pray for a number of issues. This was such a powerful experience for me, and I really felt God calling me during that time. I think the most important thing that I learned in those past two days was this; life sucks, and sometimes you have to get down and dirty for God, even if you don’t won’t to. This would be a big lesson for me in the coming days. We hung out in the chill out zone, and went to bed after NET 2.0.

The same morning, with the teaching dubbed “Relentless Love” which talked about the relentless love of God, and how we need to love like him. Over the past few days, something had been nagging at me that happened on Monday. I knew what God wanted me to do, yet I was absolutely petrified about talking to this person about what God wanted me to speak to them about. But the message from “Humanity” started to sink in, and I knew that I had to go and do it, even if I felt I had done enough. So while heading off on our prayer walk for the Outreach that day, I went up to the person, and we began to chat. It was incredible to see God’s plan in action. Speaking of which, the Outreach was amazing! I really hope that the town was touched by what the teens had done.

It was time for the country orientation follow up, where they prepared us for going home. It was also the time to say goodbye to our country rep, who would be standing down from their position this year. Throne Room came, and I have to say that between Thursdays and Fridays worship, they were some of the greatest periods of praise that I had ever encountered. During that period of worship, I once again became quite emotional. Suddenly out of nowhere, two girls who I’ve never met before came over to me, and asked if they could pray over me. It was so surreal, and really it speaks that people do notice how much my faith means to me. NET 2.0 and bed.

Friday was the last full day at Teenstreet. As per usual, emotions were running high for the whole day. Breakfast came and went, and we headed to our last teaching session, where we got a recap of all the teaching so far, and on “Fame and Renown” which dealt with how we were to bring fame and renown to God everyday really powerful message.

As we made our way back from a second trip to the pool, it was time to talk to someone once again, this time about something that had been on my heart since the beginning of the year. I won’t go into detail about what, but it was to do with our friendship, and how I didn’t want to lose it. And so we chatted, and in the end, we set things straight. As I walked back to the accommodation to get my stuff for Throne Room, I felt an overwhelming peace flood through my soul. A burden had been lifted, and I knew that life would never be the same again.

Throne room was incredible, not only because it was an awesome worship session, but also because of the fact that it made me realise how much had happened that week, and how much God had done in my life. But even though we were in the last 24 hours of Teenstreet, God still wasn’t finished. He still had something for me to do, something that was two years in the making.

Two people, who had supported me throughout the time I had known them, never got a proper thank you from me about all they did. And having kept the message of “Thankfulness” in my head, I knew what I had to do, and so I did what I should have done a long time ago; thank them for what they did, and prayed for a solid and continuing friendship with each of them.

With what I had to say over, I thought that that would be the end. Little did I know that God had a surprise waiting in the wings…

We headed over to the party in the interaction zone, where the gang danced like they never danced before, and soon it was time to head back to the accommodation, and get as much sleep as we were able to.

Saturday was the day we left, and as we sat in our 3 hour bus journey to Hamburg, what had been said the night before couldn’t escape my mind. We stopped for some food, and reached the airport in due time. Nearly everyone at some stage slept, and when we touched down in Dublin, I knew that, although I may be saying goodbye to these guys, it won’t be long till I see them again, and not only that this wasn’t the end, but it was the beginning of a new life for me. And so as I reached home, I curled up in bed, and cried tears of happiness, of all that God had done, and of what he has given to me.

You’re sure to be asking what the surprise was that God gave me. After I had thanked my two friends, I though that that was the end, but through them, God gave me a challenge. They had seen how I had acted the past week, and wondered how anyone who loves God that much could have a problem with an addiction. I couldn’t give them an answer, but instead, through them God gave me this challenge;

“To live as a Godly Man, not just on the outside, but also on the inside and through everything I do…that is your challenge.”

And just as God gave me the challenge, I give it to you. To live wholly and fully for God everyday, with him being the centre of our lives in everything we do, say and think, that is the challenge. It has only been a few days, but already I feel that challenge making a difference in my life. I’m reading my bible more, studying it more, reflecting on God, and praising him and thanking him more. But not only that, I can look to him in all times of struggle and know that he has a plan for me. I said to God before Teenstreet that I would walk in a frown, but that I would run out with a smile because of him. He has done that, and so much more.

Thank you to all my friends and family. You continue to give me hope everyday.

Thank you to my NET group. You’ve given me so much insight into everyday life, and to be in the company of a group of Christian men has been an amazing experience.

Thank you to OM, for organising Teenstreet. May God continue to work his wonders through you.

Thank you to City Gates. You have such an amazing community of Christians. May God continue to expand and bless each and every one of you.

Thank you to those two friends. Words cannot describe how thankful I am for God giving me your friendship. May this only be the first stone, and that we may grow and have many more years together.

Finally, to my saviour. Alpha and Omega. Beginning and End. The Lion and the Lamb. No words can describe the thankfulness that I have for your provision of strength, kindness, mercy, faith, hope, friendship, grace and love to me. It is you who I live for, now and for all my days, for there is none like you, my Jesus. Let your name be exalted on high, and may your glory touch the lives of others like it has touched mine. And may your voice, word and light be my guide for all my days. Thank you for what you did 2000 years ago, and continue to do everyday of our lives. May Christ be the centre of my life, and may I take up the challenge that you have given me.



In his name and for his glory.




“Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.”
-Ephesians 5:1-2

“I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.”
-Galatians 2:20

“So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”
-2 Corinthians 4:18

“The promise of being transformed and ignited to holy passion by understanding and beholding God’s glorious personality is for all believers. No matter how weak or strong we feel, regardless of our previous failures, irrespective of our natural temperaments or personalities, each of us can be set ablaze with passion for Jesus.”-Mike Bickle

“In light of all this, here's what I want you to do. While I'm locked up here, a prisoner for the Master, I want you to get out there and walk—better yet, run!—on the road God called you to travel.”-Ephesians 4:1

“Can I bear the torment,
Of the bloody war for my soul?
Or will I tumble into darkness once again?

Take this mind and mould,
You very existence into being,
For though I may not see it,
You still live inside of me.

Should darkness take me back,
And all I know separates,
You still hold he candle,
That can free me from its chains.

For you light will never die.”
-Philip King

“So then, brothers, stand firm and hold to the teachings we passed on to you, whether by word of mouth or by letter.”
-2 Thessalonians 2:15

“May the Lord direct your hearts into God's love and Christ's perseverance.”
-2 Thessalonians 3:5

“Jesus said, “I am the Road, also the Truth, also the Life. No one gets to the Father apart from me. If you really knew me, you would know my Father as well. From now on, you do know him. You've even seen him!””
-John 14:6

“This is how much God loved the world: He gave his Son, his one and only Son. And this is why: so that no one need be destroyed; by believing in him, anyone can have a whole and lasting life.” -John 3:16

On Autumn...

Having just studied "To Autumn" by Keats, my class was tasked with coming up with a sonnet as a celebration to autumn. Here's my sonnet, Shakespearean in structure. Please comment on it, as this is my first sonnet that I've written;

On Autumn

Many a day I gaze upon shadows,

Darkened by the withering trees of life,

Melodious scent of new fragrant boughs,

Fill up nostrils before cut down by knife.

Fruit of new harvest gleaned by old reapers,

Then stored away by creatures far and wide,

Held up by roots of tall and strengthened firs,

And golden leaves fall down by old way-side.

Why is this season so short? And full of

death, while leaves do fall from heaven's night sky?

I do feel faint and wish for wings of dove,

To fly where Sun and Moon and Stars sleep nigh.

To hold in my hands the gift of time lost,

Before all things are brought to ground by frost.

What To Call This Post...?

OK I know, lame title post, but I'm EXTREMELY tired tonight, so please forgive me just this once, and I promise, Better Post Titles For All!! (Sorry, some of the lads in my year are running for the Louth Youth County Council, and I appointed myself as one of their campaign managers, so stop me if I start to talk too politically.)




So as you can see from this graph (DAMN! Bold Phil!)

Today was my first applied maths class, and I have to say, it was totally worth putting up a fight for. Its so great! As I said to my friend today "IT'S ALL TECHNICAL AND PRECISE!!" Naturally, he said to keep taking the pills...







I'm not crazy....







But yes, things are going good. Unfortunately, the CU meeting didn't go ahead because of my Applied Maths. However, it is still on course, so keep praying guys...



COD 4 is amazing! I can see why so many people like the game. And I haven't even gone onto multiplayer yet!


My next door neighbour (who also happens to be one of my best friends) is coming home from Germany! I'm so excited! He's arriving home Saturday. It'll be so good to see him!


And because of the momentous occasion, my blog on Sunday will be related to him coming home.


No Eric, I'm not going to post anything about you per say, but rather the significance of the event of you coming home...and comparing it to something...


Don't worry, the reason behind my Blog Name will be coming...in full...and Lorcan, what I wrote was only the tip of what I'm going to write.

Hopefully I'll get my Teenstreet review up within a day or so. I expect everyone to comment on it! :P

Ciao for now!
















So that's where that headless chicken went...

I GOT ME MY APPLIED MATHS!!!

Yes its official! I'm now taking the Applied Mathematics Leaving Certificate exam! I'm sooooooo happy! Its like...like...words can't describe how happy I am...

OK, I'm sure there are words that describe the happiness that I feel, but I can't think of any...

Ciao!

Why Is My Calendar Still On August...?

OK weird title, but looking above my computer, I notice that the calender is still on August...I should probably change that...Nah, I'm too lazy...

So its been a couple of days since I've posted an entry. I've been having cravings to post something on the blog...Question is, what should I post?

Well first off, no there won't be a spiritual topic today, I've got so much work to do that...that...damn I can't think of a good analogy...

Higher options was OK...I guess. There really wasn't much to do. I left at 1. It was actually quite boring, but that's probably because I'm in 5th. When it comes around next year, I'm sure it'll be a big help.

I went to GAP for the first time (and no, this isn't the same GAP down in Ovoca, don't worry Lorcan, you haven't missed it.) Its the youth group of City Gates, and I have to say, it was amazing! It will defiantly be worth the hassle of traveling down from Drogheda, which I could work out is about 2-3 hours.

The meet up yesterday was grand...apart from me being like the earliest...again...and Lorcan, if you're ever late to meet up with me again, I'll...ahh who cares, everyone knows I can mangalise you...

I kid, you can kick my ass any day of the week...*gulp*

This has been a weird post (but look who you're talking to...or is it reading about?) But I'll leave you with a thought. While the action of turning a calender to the next month is a relatively easy thing to do, like me, many people simply can't be bothered. But this also works with all the wrong that's going on in the world. Many people can see it, it may be just outside our windows, but how many people just glance back at their computer? Why do we do that?

The First Meeting...

Well guys, I have to say a major thanks for the prayers. Myself and the rest of the CU Leadership team (who happen to be teachers) met up for the first time to discuss whats going to happen, and I have to say, it was really productive. We set out advertising, a meeting time and place, and a strategy for the year. Already it looks like an impossible task, but through Christ's strength, I know that we can do it.

The actual CU won't start until October, because we want to do some more planning. But again, thanks for the prayers guys. It really means a lot.

Oh, and anyone wondering whats up with the previous post title? It just happened to be what I was eating while I was posting...nothing deeper behind it.

Ciao!

Doritos and Mars Planets...

Can it get any better!?

I just realised how much work will be involved in setting up the CU in school. I've already had a 6th year say he's not interested in it. I'm actually really scared, cause in two years, I'm gonna have left, and no one will be able to carry on the CU...

Prayers would be really appreciated guys...

CU Leaders

Well, I'm back from Ovoca once again, and if I may be honest, CU Leaders has been one of the best experiences of my life.

I'll give a quick rum through, and unlike most of my other accounts of camps and the like, I mean quick. Train ride down, wait in Ovoca. Got to manor at 5. No one there. Took nap. People arrived. Games, and 1st meeting from Andy (What is Leadership). Supper, and bed.

Breakfast. Personal devotion. 2nd meeting with Andy(Purpose of a CU). Lunch. Homework time. Group discussion. Dinner. 3rd meeting with Andy(Jesus). Supper. Evening entertainment. Bed.

Breakfast. Personal devotion. 4th meeting with Andy(Bible Study). Commissioning. Gone.

See, I told you.

The reason why I'm not going in depth is because a) I'm really tired having just gotten off two bus journeys, and b)...I can't think of another.

While there may have only been 14 campers, it was an amazing experience. The feeling of a close-knit community was simply amazing. Worship, led by Jonny Sommerville and Jude Barry, was amazing. And just hanging out with my friends was in itself, such a delight. Things like singing along to Christina playing piano, and Wez on drums was great. And getting up at 7 to do a bible study with a friend.

Before I get to my main point, I'll say my thanks. Thanks to all of the organisation staff, who put so much effort into making this such a great weekend. And thank you to all the campers there, they were simply amazing.

My main point comes from the second meeting. Looking back now, I realise that the message that Andy gave, was not dissimilar to what I've been trying to live. It ties in with the whole Nexus thing. I don't know why I tried to start my CU last year. Maybe because it was Trans year, or maybe because it would look good on my CV. But I realised something this week. Those things don't matter. The purpose of CU is to glorify God in all we do. That should also be the reason behind our CU's. And through that yearning to glorify Him, we should strive to make disciples of Him, just as Christ commanded us.

So a simple thanks. Thank you Jesus. You continue to amaze me, and my birthday's only a week ago! I can feel that you're going to do something amazing this year...I can feel it...

Are you going to let Him be the Nexus in your life...?

Off To Ovoca...

If CU Leaders is anything like it was last year, its going to be great!

Ciao for now!

Wherever You Are...

In Memory of those effected by 9/11...

Cry Out To Jesus...

I Forgot How Bad That Car Smells...

OK, so this is going to sound a bit weird, but yesterday I was sleeping in one of teacher's house... No, I'm not the biggest suck up, but to cut down on travel between Navan and school, which is over in Drogheda for Mum and Dad, we made this arrangement for me to stay over one day a week...

Ohh yeah...she's a cronic smoker...

No joke, but it actually smells worse than a glue factory...

But enough about that...

After many a text and phone call, CU Leaders is now on! Yes! While the rest of DGS is in school, I'll be taking a train ride to Arklow! YAY!

Ohh, and for anyone from GAP who's reading this (not the camp, the youth group), I've got a surprise for you....Just keep it to yourselves.

Argh! Stupid key terms in business...

Still reading Ezekiel, getting a bit weird, but aside from that, a very good read.

Well that be all, spiritual post will be up on Sunday...I hope...

Ciao

What's With the Name?

A Lot of people, (well OK, one that I can remember, two tops) have asked me what's the reasoning behind my name.

First off, no, this isn't a post that will give you that reason. Second, I won't be planning on writing up that post for sometime, mostly because I'm away at the weekend, and I'll be straight back into school...ugh...I promise you, that's the last time you'll see that word here...

Instant idea! Discuss. What do you think it means? I mean, its fairly obvious...I think...

Apologies, But The Sniffles Have Attacked...

Yes, I know, I'm a bit too old to be calling a cold a case of the "sniffles." I don't see a problem, do you?

What's happened over the past few days? Well....nothing really. Aside from my cold, and a huge amount of work in school, there really isn't that much to talk about.

I'm going to try and make it that Saturday will be my main spiritual post, but if not, then Sunday. That's not to say that I won't be posting spiritual comments during the week, but the post on Saturday (or at least one of them) will be devoted to a spiritual topic.


Speaking of spiritual topics, I was watching the lads meeting from Teenstreet (check it out at http://germany.teenstreet.om.org/livemag/media.html) and I'm struggling with something...What was the point of gluing Ferg's chest, and sticking hair on it?

And another thing that's a wee bit (yes I did spend a week in Donegal, so forgive the local dialect) odd. Why do they have seperate meetings for lads and lasses, but then give the oppurtunity to watch the meeting of the opposite sex as much as you want?


Ooh, if you haven't, check out a song called "Run To You" by Third Day, off their new album. That, and "Born Again" are simply stunning!

Ciao!

Excited for Ezekiel...

Having done my Big Adveture, or my personal bible study, I started to get curious, and I turned to a passage in Ezekiel. And I have to say, if the rest of the book is half as good as that passage, its gonna be awesome!

""The word of the LORD came to me: "Son of man, speak to your countrymen and say to them: 'When I bring the sword against a land, and the people of the land choose one of their men and make him their watchman, and he sees the sword coming against the land and blows the trumpet to warn the people, then if anyone hears the trumpet but does not take warning and the sword comes and takes his life, his blood will be on his own head. Since he heard the sound of the trumpet but did not take warning, his blood will be on his own head. If he had taken warning, he would have saved himself. But if the watchman sees the sword coming and does not blow the trumpet to warn the people and the sword comes and takes the life of one of them, that man will be taken away because of his sin, but I will hold the watchman accountable for his blood.'"

Ezekiel 33 v 1-6

Happy Birthday To Me...

Well you guessed it. Tis my birthday today. The big 17. Doesn't actually feel much different. Although it feels way more different from 1 year ago.

Looking back on my 16th year of living on Earth (no, I'm not some sort of ancient intergalactic alien who plans to rid the world of cheese...and soap) its amazing to see what has happened. Last year, if you had asked me to speak in front of any amount of people, I'd say that I would, but that I'd more than likely would have to revert to wearing diapers. Now though, there's only a 0.00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001% chance that I'd need to...still could happen though.

Last year, I wouldn't consider myself among the social elite. I would kinda be the guy standing in the corner, waiting for someone to come over to me. Now, I feel much more confident in myself, and have made some wonderful friends, as well as cementing old ones.

But by far the biggest change is the fact that God really is part of my everyday life. I can't even go to the bathroom without singing "Blessed Be You Name." Crazy I know, but everywhere I go, he just speaks into my life. I feel like I'm finally living the life he wants me to live, and not only that, but that I'm finding the intimacy that I've always wanted with Him.

Everything that happened this past year is because of Him. I wouldn't be where I am if it wasn't for Him, because I made Him the centre of my life. And so to Him, I give my thanks for all He's done, and I lay this year, and the rest of my life down at His feet.

Let's get started Lord...Let's make this year one to remember.

May He be the Nexus of your life.

Candle

How fragile be the human mind,
Ability to imagine the greatest of stories,
And the beautiful expanse of far-off realms.

But there is more to the mind,
The battle for our forgotten souls rages on,
And by ourselves, all we do is struggle.

I once knew something that could ease the pain,
Who gave his arms just to hold me tight,
But darkness still has a hold.

Life is not kind, and spoils over time,
The very people we cherished for so long,
Can be taken in a rush of wind.

Now the light is fading,
And in its place, poison of old will grip me,
Dragging my mind into the abyss.

Why should we be harmed,
If all that comes from it is pain and sorrow?
Why should I endure this war?

They say that time heals all wounds,
But it only numbs the pain, and clots the bleeding,
The scars of the battle will tarnish my flesh.

Why is there no healing,
when mothers weep and soldiers die?
Why is He not here?

But life is unpredictable,
and he moves in the strangest of ways,
Using those around us, to translate his knowledge.

Can I bear the torment,
Of the bloody war for my soul?
Or will I tumble into darkness once again?

Take this mind, and mould
Your very existence into being,
For though I may not see it,
You still live inside of me.

Should darkness take me back,
and all I know separates,
You still hold the candle that can free me from its chains.



For your light will never die.


A Poem dedicated to Michael Brown. May you run home to your Father.

The Real Meaning Behind My Challenge...

Welcome to my first spiritual blog of sorts. Today, I want to talk about a challenge...

If you don't know what my challenge is, then you haven't paid much attention, have you?! Hehehehehehehe, I kid.

Here it is;

"To Live as a Godly man, not just on the outside, but on the inside, and through everything I do..."

To start off, the story as I how I got this challenge will be up in a week or.

Second, the first meaning. Well for those of you who heard me speak in St. Stephen's Green, you know what it is. But for those who don't, I shall explain. In today's world, its hard to live a Christian Life. Constant pressures from the media, circumstances, and friends and family make it the hardest thing to do in today's life.

Before I went to TeenStreet (which is where I got the challenge) I had been struggling with an addiction to porno and masturbation. I loved God, but it was like I was living for him. Then He gave this challenge...and everything changed.

We are called to live a life solely devoted to God, focusing only on him, and not the world. The challenge is primarily the challenge of authenticity. To live authentically for God, living the life he has called us to live. Ever since the day I got that challenge, I've been praying more, studying His Word more, and loving Him more. My life is totally different now, because I am trying to live the life He has called me to live. And why should I? Cause He loved me so much, He sent His only Son to do in my place. Its the least I can do. And why should you live the challenge? Because He did the same thing for you as He did for me. He died for you, in your place, so that we can walk with Him forever in His glory.

But over the past few days, God has been teaching me a second level of this challenge. If you read my blog on the problem I've been having with Applied Maths, you'll see that I was extremely angry, but I was also worried. After all, this is part of my future. But through reading His word, an excerpt from a newsletter, and a book on purity, He's opened my eyes to something much more.

The day that Applied Maths problem came up, I had received on OM Ireland Newsletter. Inside the front cover was a word from Mike Mullins, head of OM Ireland. In it, he looked at Proverbs 3 v 5-6;

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart,
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make your paths straight."

It talks about putting our trust fully into God, and letting him take control. I didn't think much of it, until I got a phone call from my friend, telling me about the problem with Applied Maths. I rushed to Mum and Dad and told them what had happened. I was breaking inside. And so, I went outside, desperate for answers. I was walking about, trying to get my head around the whole situation, a verse popped into my head...Jeremiah 29 v 11;

""...For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.""

I realised that God knew what he was doing, that he had it all planned out. And so I got down on my knees, and I cried out to Him, crying out Proverbs 3 v 5-6. I knew that I had to trust him in this situation.

But how does it relate to my challenge. As I was reading "Tactics" by Fred Stoeker, something he had written gave me a punch to my heart. He had written that in order to seek true intimacy with God, I need to let go, and put my whole trust in him, laying down everything before, and letting Him do what he does best. I realise that if I want to be the Godly man that I want to be, I need to trust Him, not just with the small and insignificant things, but with everything, big and small. The words of Jeremiah 29 v 13 ring true;

""You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart...""

Do you want to take the challenge, to live the life God intended you to live? If so, you've got to put your life before him. Trust Him in everything, and he'll make you the person you were born to be.

Let Him be the Nexus of your life...

9AM Wake Up

It feels so good to wake up at 9 in the morn, instead of 7. So much better...

And now to kill the tone, I still have a massive amount of school work to do. Ohh woe is me!

On the brightside, its only 1 day till my birthday! YAY!!!

Oh and if your wondering when all the spiritual stuff is coming, I plan on starting today, should I get a chance.

BYE!

Simultaneous Equations, Factorising, Roots and Blisters on my Fingers...

2 hours of simultaneous equations, factorising and finding roots can take a toll on your fingers. Unlike me, be sure to have a break every 15mins. Your gonna need it. Cause I'm gonna be in so much pain from the blisters I have on my fingers.

And according to a source (you heard me Ajne), this isn't even hard compared to what she's doing....







Yes its true...I do have friends who happen to be girls...I may not be the most sociable character, but I do have a life...Wait, if I had a life, I wouldn't be here typing this...


Gotta go punch a whale...

SEE YA!

John Keats...

What a poet...

I mean, I've only studied two of his poems, but the imagery used in those poems is stunning, but not only that, but how he conveys the message in each of his poems. If you haven't looked at any of his writing, please do. You'll be doing yourself a favor.

It's Gonna Be An Interesting Year...

Argh! Why is it always me who gets colds? I mean, its like I'm a cold magnet, I get them whenever, summer or winter, spring or fall.

Anyway, having rescued my cat from a 60 foot high tree (I got to use a cherry-picker! Best €150 spent ever!) I thought things might quieten down...ohh woe is me...

First, Irish homework, and if you know me, you then know of my undesirable hate for the language. What's the point in teaching it? I can understand if for some reason you wanted to go omto TG4, but aside from that, what is there? You may be saying to yourself "Philip," (yes, that is my real name, but I much prefer Nexus) "just move down to ordinary, tis much easier." My response? I am in ordinary! I can't even string a sentence together! Stupid language. Maybe I should have stayed over in England...hmm...

But now for what really ticked me off. Having seen Applied Maths on the list of subject preferences last year, I was delighted, with me saying to myself "There you go Phil, the perfect subject to feed your uncontrolable hunger for maths and physics AT THE SAME TIME! Mwahhhahhahhahhahhahhahhah!.....Ahem....yes...plus according to the teacher, and easy A1 is just 3 hours away in the exam." So down I write it down, saying that it was quite high up on my preferences. Guidence councellor comes along, and asks me if I'm sure... Yeah, a quick glance up at the previous statement will show what I said to her...Moving on...

So I get a call yesterday from my friend, S (yes I know what you're thinking, its highly unlikely that I know someone simply called S. Confidentiality!) who said he talked to the guidence councellor, who said to talk to the principal. See, although they were meant to have the timetable sorted out, Applied Maths wasn't on the timetable. And so, myself and S ran around trying to sort out what was going on, all the while, tending to our first years like little lambs...of course whenever an oppurtunity arose to find out more of our never-ending quest (yes I know, this does have an end, I just like how its sounds) we tossed them out like yesterday's newspaper... Not litlerally, although on one occasion, someone did place a first year head first in a bin...freaky...

Anywho, myself and S travelled aroung the great campus of DGS (yes, its a campus. Just because we're a small school, doesn't mean we can't call ourselves campus...-like) and from the amount of walking we did, we could have gone to Borrisokane and back again. (Yes, someone you know does live there.:)) Anywho (he said, hopefully for the last time) S gave me a call to say that the principal "doesn't feel like doing Applied Maths.".............ehh, why? I mean, I have three people who want to do it, and only three people did it last year. Why won't he? Tis just not right, I mean, he offered it to us, and I took it. He can't just sweep it away like the old and grumpy jaitor sweeps away the dust...actually its more like vacuum it up, but you get the idea.

Ohh, and don't worry, Mum and Dad are going to sort it out today, but there is a second part to this story which I shall divulge at a later point...

BYE BYE!!!!!

Introduction

To all this concerns,

I finally did it! I've my own proper blog! Yes!

Firstly, a quick intro. Name's Nexus (More about that later.) And I'm a Christian. Period. I will follow my Lord and Savior for the rest of my days.

What can you expect to see here? Randomness, my daily life, but also more spiritual topics aswell. You'll see my blogs from Bebo popping up, plus new ones, along with study guides, and my own thoughts on different topics. Anything you want to ask me? Post a comment, and I'll answer in a blog!

Ehh that's all I want to say...ohh, to anyone who has a trifle with the way I spell "savior," yes I know its the American way...but so what? It looks much better!

Ciao for now!

Nexus