Saturday, October 4, 2008

I Love The Weekends...

They're great! I mean, I got all of my work that I needed to get done within an hour, and for the rest of the day, I've just been relaxing!

I still plan on posting a blog of spiritual sorts tomorrow...Not sure on what though, but I have an idea...Possibly inspired by one of your blogs...


I love being mysterious... Its so much fun...


Church tomorrow, can't wait.




Ohh...some sort of idea just popped into my head, I might start posting a series that me and Bernard filmed while we were in Budapest...Possibly!







"You took my brokenness,
And filled me with your joy!"

-Amazing lyrics from Saving Grace.



I've now decided to post a random picture every now and then.


Here's today's;



Friday, October 3, 2008

End Of Another Week...

Good news! I'm feeling a bit better tonight as I write this. Still not even half way there, but definitely a great deal better.

Spiritual post will still be up on Sunday...after I get back from church...

Yes, I do go to church...

No not in Navan...they're all too old fashioned...Dublin is the "hip" place for church...

I'm in love with PlanetShakers! In particular the song "Saving Grace." Definitely worth getting on iTunes, or what ever other method you choose...wink wink...

Ciao for now!

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Stress And A Scholarship...

So I'm still stressed...go figure...

Its not actually funny anymore...come to think of it, it never was funny. Its not that I have massive amount of work, but the fact that I he work, combined with a 40 min commute, each way to school. I really need a break...and prayers guys. My relationship with God is kinda on the rocks at the moment. I won't go into much depth, but it has something to do with the post "A Simple Reminder."

On the plus side, I've now got a €400 scholarship for two years from the school, for my Junior Cert, and for my input into Trans Year. And it was decided by the teachers, not some old snooty board members. I'm quite pleased.






I've nothing else to write....
















I like cheese....


OK, so maybe I did....now I don't don't....















I like toast...

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

This Is Quick...

At this moment in time, I'm preparing for an English and a Physics test on Friday, an Irish and a French test tomorrow, doing homework, talking on the phone, organising my vast music collection, and to top it all off, dinner's just ready...plus mum bought a new keyboard with a ridiculously small return key....





Just thought I'd let people know how stressful my life is at the moment.

Sunday, September 28, 2008

A Simple Reminder...

Let me tell you a bit about me...

I'm English...Yes I know that because I stated that fact, you're all probably rushing to my home with pitch-forks and petrol bombs...OK, maybe not. The worst I can expect from someone is to receive a nasty comment on this post...or to have my finger tips cut off.

Why did I say this? I've lived in Ireland for the majority of my life (and yet I still consider myself a true Brit) but when we first moved over here, it wasn't easy. We moved into a run down house with nothing. Over the coming years, this would eventually be turned around by the hard work of my Dad. But at first we lived in a caravan...

Yes its hard to imagine that I lived in a tiny space, with a toilet leading directly off of the kitchen, but I did. However, we couldn't get any water and electricity. We were kinda stuck, and me being the tender age of 3, I wanted to watch the Teletubies...Yes its true, I used to watch those giants balls of red, green, blue, and yellow fluff. We were desperate. Luckily, our next door neighbours were kinda enough to let us use their water and electricity. And it was through that act, that I came to know one of my best friends...

Eric is Eric. I was going to say that he's cool, and while that is true to a certain extent, it doesn't some him up enough. He is who he is. Day after day, we would laze around, playing video games, listening to music...and that's pretty much all we did. But understand that I live about 4 miles from Navan, and even further from Dublin. In essence, at times, he became a brother to me.

Before I go on, I want to tell a tiny story about how British I consider(ed) myself to be. Eric was walking me home (I was still 4 or 5 at the time) and a big Gaelic match was going to be played...
Eric: So Philip, who do you want to win? Meath or Dublin?
Philip:...hmm...
Eric: Well?
Philip: LONDON!!!

Yes it is true, I wanted London to win in that game...Let the sneering mocks begin.

He's 21/22 at this stage, so he was just about to finish college. It was no surprise to me, that he said he was going to move. To where, it didn't really matter...Then I heard he was moving over 1000 miles away. Then it matter.

Of course I would stay in contact with him. But it was coming up to summer, a time where I would normally be bored off my ass. The usual way I would relieve that boredom, was to get Eric over. Unfortunately, with the current state of the economy, a cheap flight to and from Germany wasn't in the agenda.

But what was worse was the fact that he didn't know when he'd be coming home. He said it could be 3 months...or it could be a year. At the time, I was happy for him, and so I didn't really feel any sadness. But looking back now, maybe I should've cried a little. After all, I had never shared my faith with him properly. What if something was to happen when he was over there? In essence, I should've felt sad, because if something were to happen, then some of the onus would be on me as to where he would end up. Of course, the onus is still on me partially, because I have been his friend all my life. I think its the least I can do.

3 months passed without him. Luckily enough, my summer was quite packed, so there wasn't much time when I was free, what with Teenstreet and all that. When I came back from Teenstreet, that's when I realised how much Eric means to me. And low and behold, yesterday, he arrived safely back home, greeted by his ever faithful (and also incredibly annoying) dog.

3 months passed before he returned...3 days passed before the world was shown true love.

I'm not trying to compare Eric to Jesus. That's just got blaspheme written all over it. Rather, the period of time in which they both returned was relative to the other.

OK this is an obscure topic, but really I was just thinking of this a little while ago. I can't even begin to imagine to sadness and pain and grief when Christ died on the cross. I must confess that I have never watch "The Passion of The Christ" but now I think that I must see it. From what I've seen, if its even 1/10000000000000000000 of what the actual crucifixion was like, then I will be crying from here to next August.

But that wasn't the end of the story, because while Christ did die, for the sins off all humankind, just as Eric returned, so did Christ. On the 3rd day he rose again, to show the world his true and perfect love. I can't even begin to describe the happiness everyone must have felt the day they saw him.

Writing this now, I'm in a bit of a twilight zone. Its only been 12 hours, but something occurred which has really challenged my faith. The quote that I left at the end of yesterday's post has spoken to the deepest part of me. I know God. I believe that he exists, and that He created everything around me. I believe in Jesus, that He is the Son of God, and that He gave his life for me. And I believe that He loves me, which is the hardest thing for me to accept. The fact that God would love me so much that he would send his own Son to die for me is the most absurd thing I've ever come across. How could God ever love a monster such as me?

And yet I know that fact is true, because I've seen that love work throughout my life. Maybe that's why I posted my Teenstreet report. The fact that God did all that is a sign that He hasn't forgotten me. The fact that because He died for me, means that there must be a greater reason than just living. Who would just up and give their life for us? As I write this, the dilemma is as follows; I've accepted the fact that he loves me, but do I believe it? Or do I believe that I am beyond his touch, and his saving grace? Only time will tell, and having written this, I can already feel something pulling at my very depths. The fact is that quote is true. We can never be clean. In trying to do so, we just become dirtier. But I am talking about being clean for the sake of being clean. Now we can love God because He loves us, and it is through that loving relationship that I believe we can be whole. But we must not want to be whole. We must want to love God, and that's it. Nothing more, nothing less.

Isn't funny, how God reminds us of the simplest, and truest things, in the most random of places. We need to let him be the Nexus in out lives.

Saturday, September 27, 2008

I Just Swallowed A Chicken Bone...

Hopefully the title won't need explaining.

So here we are at the end of another week of school. Things are starting to fall into place, but things are quite stressful at the moment, what with all the effort to keep on top of the work. Its true what they say, going from trans year to 5th is a big shock...at least for me it has been.

As I posted earlier on in the week, I'm now a candidate for the Leaving Cert Applied Maths exam. While at the moment, it seems fairly mundane, everything will start to pick up sooner or later.

There really isn't that much going aside from my friend coming home tonight. Yes he almost back! And yes, I do plan on posting my spiritual topic tomorrow...maybe even two...

I'm so glad I read "Wuthering Heights" over the summer. All I have to do is look over some notes, and everything's good!


On a side note, I have started to shave...just that I'd put that out there...


I'll leave you with a quote from "Blue Like Jazz" that I'm currently loving;

"Rick says that I will love God because he first loved me. I will obey God because I love God. But if I cannot accept God's love, I cannot love Him in return, and I cannot obey Him. Self-discipline will never make us feel righteous or clean; accepting God's love will. The ability to accept God's unconditional grace and ferocious love is all the fuel we need to obey Him in return. Accepting God's kindness and free love is something the devil does not want us to do. If we hear, in our inner ear, a voice saying we are failures, we are losers, we will never amount to anything, this is the voice of Satan trying to convince the bride that the groom does not love her. This is not the voice of God. God woos us with kindness, He changes our character with the passion of his love...In exchange for our humility and willingness to accept the charity of God, we are given a kingdom. And a beggar's kingdom is better than a proud man's delusion."

Friday, September 26, 2008

Teenstreet 08: Blindsight

Teenstreet 08: Blindsight

Welcome one and all, to this my account of, what has quite possibly the greatest experience of my life. I know I normally say this about any camp or event that I’ve gone to, but there is no comparison to Teenstreet 08 and any other camp. It has been life-changing, and so much more. So sit back and let’s begin.

It was a long first day. Having arrived at Dublin airport at 3:00, I decided to get a quick bite to eat, before meeting up with City Gates. We checked in, got through security and hung out in the duty free for a little bit. We soon got on our delayed plane, landed and took our 30 minute bus journey to Oldenburg. Having arrived, we were greeted by our country rep, who the directed us to registration, and then to our accommodation, where we set up shop, and headed to sleep.

Before I go any further, it’s important for you to understand who I was going into Blindsight. In the past few months, I had continually been struggling with an addiction to porno, and other related activities. This had taken a huge effect on my faith, but one week before heading to Germany, my uncle took a turn for the worst, and in the end died on the 27th. This was a huge event for me, and my faith then lay on the edge of a knife. It was touch and go. But more than that, things that I wished to accomplish at Teenstreet had me absolutely petrified, and I was beginning to have second thoughts. However, throughout the week, those fears, struggles and much more would become null and void.

Morning came relatively quick, and soon it was time for showers and then the traditional Teenstreet breakfast of cereal and bread. As for those who were there, you know that it’s no fry-up, but for those who weren’t there…let’s just say that it’s not great. Pretty much for the rest of the day, we were free until the main meeting in the evening. So we just hung around until it was time to meet up with some guys who were travelling from Holland. We met up with them, helped them with their bags, and then headed into town to the local supermarket to buy cereals and supplies. We continued to hang around the venue, then it was time for lunch. For the most part, the food was much better than last year.

Things were going great, but then all of a sudden, out of nowhere, the first major event for me occurred. I was taken aside by someone who I had talked to last year, and we chatted for about 30 mins. While this may not seem like a big deal, this was something huge for me. It was then time for the country orientation meeting, where the different countries would get information about the week. We then headed for the main meeting, where we were introduced to theme of Blindsight, and the story of Paul. This really set the foundation for an awesome week of teaching. After some worship (which was amazing!) we continued to hang about until it was time for NET, where I was introduced to my NET group, a group of some of the soundest lads that I’ve met. Then it was time for bed.

One final thing, a lot of this blog is quite personal, which is why you won’t be seeing names at any stage. This is partly for you guys, to see what happened, but this is also an account for me, that I won’t forget what happened that week. On with the show.

Most of the mornings were the same, so I won’t go into great depth unless necessary. Breakfast came, and then was the first meeting, dubbed “Blindsight,” where Josh and Debs talked about faith and how to put your trust in God. After the meeting, it was time for Shhh Time, a time when we could be still before God, and just let him speak. This was one of the highlights of the week for me. After which, it was time for NET 1.0, where we talked about what had been discussed in the meeting. During this time, we did our Big Adventure, a period of study, which was great. Lunch came, and afterwards, we met up and headed into town to chill out. We also went to a seminar on “What It Means to Hear God Speak” which would become a big part of the week.

Supper came, and soon it was time for Throne Room, probably one of the greatest experiences at Teenstreet. While in there, I realised that it had been a week since my uncle had passed away, and I became quite emotional. It wasn’t that I didn’t know that he was in heaven, but that I missed him. Then all of a sudden, while one of the leaders was praying for me, I saw my uncle, standing there with Christ and in that instant, all my sadness melted away. It was amazing, and this was the same day that I heard God say to me “I’m not letting you go.” I was so amazed by what I heard that I wrote a poem, an extract of which will be at the bottom of the blog. We headed for the chill out zone afterwards, to relax, and then went back to our accommodation for NET 2.0 and bed.

Monday started the same, with breakfast and showers. We headed to the main meeting, where we were treated to teaching on “Total Surrender,” giving all that you have to God’s purpose. NET 1.0 came, and we went to do our Big Adventure. It was during this time that something happened that hadn’t happened for a long time; I heard God speak to me. It’s hard to describe, but he uttered single words, such as comfort and worship. At the time, I had no idea what they meant, but little did I know that they would play a big role latter that day. After lunch, we decided to head to the pool which was great fun, apart from being late, and our M&M taking the blame for it.

Soon it was supper, and then it was time for Throne Room. It was during this time, that one of my friends became quite emotional, and so, seeing that they had a few people there to pray, I simply placed my hand on there shoulder, and prayer for them myself. I then realised, that that is what God had meant when he said “comfort.” It was unbelievable. And that was just the beginning, because after heading over to the climbing wall, and heading inside, that same person and I took a walk, and we had a chat about some stuff. Again, no names here. But it was incredible. But what shocked me even more was that something that God had said to me that morning came up while we were talking. I knew that I couldn’t just be coincidence, and so I prayed about it long and hard. NET 2.0 and bed.

Tuesday and Wednesday were not as eventful as the other days. God continued to speak to me during NET 1.0. The meetings were “Humanity” which was the separate meeting for boys and girls, in which we looked at how our humanity gets in the way of out love of God, and “Thankfulness” were we looked at not just focusing on ourselves, but being thankful to God. On one of the days, one of the leaders was celebrating their 21st birthday, and so we all headed into town to hang out and spend the day with them, which was great craic. One of the biggest events of the week took place on Wednesday, which was TS Pray, where everyone gathered in the Throne Room to Pray for a number of issues. This was such a powerful experience for me, and I really felt God calling me during that time. I think the most important thing that I learned in those past two days was this; life sucks, and sometimes you have to get down and dirty for God, even if you don’t won’t to. This would be a big lesson for me in the coming days. We hung out in the chill out zone, and went to bed after NET 2.0.

The same morning, with the teaching dubbed “Relentless Love” which talked about the relentless love of God, and how we need to love like him. Over the past few days, something had been nagging at me that happened on Monday. I knew what God wanted me to do, yet I was absolutely petrified about talking to this person about what God wanted me to speak to them about. But the message from “Humanity” started to sink in, and I knew that I had to go and do it, even if I felt I had done enough. So while heading off on our prayer walk for the Outreach that day, I went up to the person, and we began to chat. It was incredible to see God’s plan in action. Speaking of which, the Outreach was amazing! I really hope that the town was touched by what the teens had done.

It was time for the country orientation follow up, where they prepared us for going home. It was also the time to say goodbye to our country rep, who would be standing down from their position this year. Throne Room came, and I have to say that between Thursdays and Fridays worship, they were some of the greatest periods of praise that I had ever encountered. During that period of worship, I once again became quite emotional. Suddenly out of nowhere, two girls who I’ve never met before came over to me, and asked if they could pray over me. It was so surreal, and really it speaks that people do notice how much my faith means to me. NET 2.0 and bed.

Friday was the last full day at Teenstreet. As per usual, emotions were running high for the whole day. Breakfast came and went, and we headed to our last teaching session, where we got a recap of all the teaching so far, and on “Fame and Renown” which dealt with how we were to bring fame and renown to God everyday really powerful message.

As we made our way back from a second trip to the pool, it was time to talk to someone once again, this time about something that had been on my heart since the beginning of the year. I won’t go into detail about what, but it was to do with our friendship, and how I didn’t want to lose it. And so we chatted, and in the end, we set things straight. As I walked back to the accommodation to get my stuff for Throne Room, I felt an overwhelming peace flood through my soul. A burden had been lifted, and I knew that life would never be the same again.

Throne room was incredible, not only because it was an awesome worship session, but also because of the fact that it made me realise how much had happened that week, and how much God had done in my life. But even though we were in the last 24 hours of Teenstreet, God still wasn’t finished. He still had something for me to do, something that was two years in the making.

Two people, who had supported me throughout the time I had known them, never got a proper thank you from me about all they did. And having kept the message of “Thankfulness” in my head, I knew what I had to do, and so I did what I should have done a long time ago; thank them for what they did, and prayed for a solid and continuing friendship with each of them.

With what I had to say over, I thought that that would be the end. Little did I know that God had a surprise waiting in the wings…

We headed over to the party in the interaction zone, where the gang danced like they never danced before, and soon it was time to head back to the accommodation, and get as much sleep as we were able to.

Saturday was the day we left, and as we sat in our 3 hour bus journey to Hamburg, what had been said the night before couldn’t escape my mind. We stopped for some food, and reached the airport in due time. Nearly everyone at some stage slept, and when we touched down in Dublin, I knew that, although I may be saying goodbye to these guys, it won’t be long till I see them again, and not only that this wasn’t the end, but it was the beginning of a new life for me. And so as I reached home, I curled up in bed, and cried tears of happiness, of all that God had done, and of what he has given to me.

You’re sure to be asking what the surprise was that God gave me. After I had thanked my two friends, I though that that was the end, but through them, God gave me a challenge. They had seen how I had acted the past week, and wondered how anyone who loves God that much could have a problem with an addiction. I couldn’t give them an answer, but instead, through them God gave me this challenge;

“To live as a Godly Man, not just on the outside, but also on the inside and through everything I do…that is your challenge.”

And just as God gave me the challenge, I give it to you. To live wholly and fully for God everyday, with him being the centre of our lives in everything we do, say and think, that is the challenge. It has only been a few days, but already I feel that challenge making a difference in my life. I’m reading my bible more, studying it more, reflecting on God, and praising him and thanking him more. But not only that, I can look to him in all times of struggle and know that he has a plan for me. I said to God before Teenstreet that I would walk in a frown, but that I would run out with a smile because of him. He has done that, and so much more.

Thank you to all my friends and family. You continue to give me hope everyday.

Thank you to my NET group. You’ve given me so much insight into everyday life, and to be in the company of a group of Christian men has been an amazing experience.

Thank you to OM, for organising Teenstreet. May God continue to work his wonders through you.

Thank you to City Gates. You have such an amazing community of Christians. May God continue to expand and bless each and every one of you.

Thank you to those two friends. Words cannot describe how thankful I am for God giving me your friendship. May this only be the first stone, and that we may grow and have many more years together.

Finally, to my saviour. Alpha and Omega. Beginning and End. The Lion and the Lamb. No words can describe the thankfulness that I have for your provision of strength, kindness, mercy, faith, hope, friendship, grace and love to me. It is you who I live for, now and for all my days, for there is none like you, my Jesus. Let your name be exalted on high, and may your glory touch the lives of others like it has touched mine. And may your voice, word and light be my guide for all my days. Thank you for what you did 2000 years ago, and continue to do everyday of our lives. May Christ be the centre of my life, and may I take up the challenge that you have given me.



In his name and for his glory.




“Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.”
-Ephesians 5:1-2

“I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.”
-Galatians 2:20

“So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”
-2 Corinthians 4:18

“The promise of being transformed and ignited to holy passion by understanding and beholding God’s glorious personality is for all believers. No matter how weak or strong we feel, regardless of our previous failures, irrespective of our natural temperaments or personalities, each of us can be set ablaze with passion for Jesus.”-Mike Bickle

“In light of all this, here's what I want you to do. While I'm locked up here, a prisoner for the Master, I want you to get out there and walk—better yet, run!—on the road God called you to travel.”-Ephesians 4:1

“Can I bear the torment,
Of the bloody war for my soul?
Or will I tumble into darkness once again?

Take this mind and mould,
You very existence into being,
For though I may not see it,
You still live inside of me.

Should darkness take me back,
And all I know separates,
You still hold he candle,
That can free me from its chains.

For you light will never die.”
-Philip King

“So then, brothers, stand firm and hold to the teachings we passed on to you, whether by word of mouth or by letter.”
-2 Thessalonians 2:15

“May the Lord direct your hearts into God's love and Christ's perseverance.”
-2 Thessalonians 3:5

“Jesus said, “I am the Road, also the Truth, also the Life. No one gets to the Father apart from me. If you really knew me, you would know my Father as well. From now on, you do know him. You've even seen him!””
-John 14:6

“This is how much God loved the world: He gave his Son, his one and only Son. And this is why: so that no one need be destroyed; by believing in him, anyone can have a whole and lasting life.” -John 3:16